How to get someone to advocate for you—and feel good about it
The idea of asking for a sponsor might feel icky, but it doesn’t have to.
by Maya Afilalo
It can be hard to ask for what you want. Especially when you want to advance your career. But it can be done, and in a way that feels genuine.
Why you need a sponsor
Maybe you want a promotion, or a raise, or that high-profile, stepping-stone assignment. No matter how good we are at our job, at some point we need help taking our career to the next level.
“You cannot have a 100 percent meritocratic environment when there is a human element involved in the evaluative equation,” says Carla Harris, MBA, Vice Chairman, Managing Director and Senior Client Advisor at Morgan Stanley. “Because by definition, that makes it subjective.”
That’s where a sponsor comes in. A sponsor is someone who has power and will use it to help you. It’s different from a mentor, who shares knowledge and advice. In a survey of over 4,000 professionals, 69% of people with sponsors reported being satisfied with their rate of career advancement, compared to 57% without.
Lack of sponsorship is part of what keeps women from progressing their careers. Consider, the same survey found that men are 46% more likely to have a sponsor than women. Why? Because many women don’t ask.
Change your thinking about sponsorship
The first step to asking for a sponsor: make it less daunting.
“Sponsorship doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing,” says Dr. Herminia Ibarra, Professor of Organizational Behavior at London Business School. Rather than a hard binary, think of sponsorship as a spectrum of relationships with different levels of commitment.
For example, a strategizer might share “insider knowledge” about how to get ahead in your organization, and help you plan. A connector will make introductions with influential people, and an opportunity-giver will get you on a high visibility project. An advocate is what we traditionally think of as sponsorship: someone who will fight for you to get a promotion or a raise.
“In between these opposite ends of the spectrum lie a range of helping roles that can, over time, evolve authentically to full sponsorship,” explains Ibarra.
Who to ask
When you’re looking for someone to really go to bat for you, it’s key to choose wisely.
Harris gives three characteristics to look for. First, they should have a seat at the decision-making table. Second, they need to be familiar with your work, which gives them credibility. Third: “they need to have some juice, or let me say it differently, they'd better have some power.”
It can help to look outside your immediate circle. Sometimes, the people closest to us—our boss or colleagues—don’t have the power to substantially change our career. A good guideline is to look two levels above you. And over time, try to cultivate multiple relationships, that way all your eggs aren’t in one basket.
Finally, don’t be afraid to ask a man. As frustrating as it is, women are less likely than men to have power, even in senior positions. Research finds that this is part of what keeps women in the lower rungs of an organization. Senior leaders are most likely to give a leg up to people like them. In other words, powerful men help men, until someone asks otherwise.
How to ask someone to be your sponsor
Your chances of getting a sponsor are impacted by two kinds of “currency”: performance and relationship.
You generate performance currency by delivering beyond what was promised. “What was asked of you, and a little bit extra,” says Harris.
“Relationship currency” might sound cold, but all it means is taking time to genuinely connect and engage. And just as importantly, giving them a chance to get to know you.
Of course, neither happens overnight. But with planning and investment, the chances of your potential sponsor saying “yes” a few months down the line improve greatly.
Once you’ve done everything to prepare, how do you make the ask?
It goes something like this: “Ken, I'm really interested in getting promoted this year. I've had a great year and I’ve shown this organization everything I can to prove my worthiness and my readiness. At the same time, I know that somebody has to advocate on my behalf in the decision room. You know me, you know my work, and you know my client feedback. I hope you’ll feel comfortable arguing on my behalf.”
What happens next
If they say “yes,” excellent!
Of course, a “no” is also possible. Maybe they don’t feel they know you or your work well enough. Or, they might not want to admit that they don’t have power in the decision-making room.
No matter what happens, it’s valuable information for the next time around.
Bottom line
A sponsor is someone who uses their power to help you reach the next level in your career. Think of it as a spectrum, from sharing “insider information” to advocating for your promotion. A sponsor should have real power in the organization—you might need to look outside your usual circle and role models. Make sure your work is stellar and you’ve cultivated a sincere relationship with the person, then make the ask. No matter what happens, you’ve learned something.